Donald “Taco” Trump’s rallies are many things: political theater, grievance-laden reality TV, and nationalistic pep rallies wrapped in red, white, and blue stage lighting. But perhaps most telling … most hilariously and horrifyingly off-key … is his musical taste. Or rather, his music team’s inability to understand basic lyrics or seek artist permission.

Below is a ranked list of the 10 most jaw-droppingly inappropriate songs played at Trump rallies, videos, or that June 14, 2025 military parade, culminating in the most absurd misuses of protest music in political history.

When/Where: Trump rally in Montana, August 2024.

Lyrics: "Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on..."

Why It’s Absurd: This Titanic ballad is about grief and loss, not economic revival or electoral red hats. Playing this at a Trump rally is like serving funeral dirges at a monster truck rally.

Artist Reaction: Dion’s team issued a terse statement noting the use was unauthorized and inappropriate.

When/Where: Chattanooga rally, November 2018.

Lyrics: "I just came here to party / Please don’t stop the music..."

Why It’s Absurd: The only music Rihanna would want stopped is this exact playlist. This club banger clashed hilariously with the deeply unsexy rage of the MAGA crowd.

Artist Reaction: Rihanna tweeted, "Not for much longer... me nor my people would ever be at or around one of those tragic rallies."

When/Where: American Freedom Tour, Austin, 2022.

Lyrics: "She’s so sweet when she yanks on my meat..."

Why It’s Absurd: This is what happens when you mix locker room talk with a megaphone. Even Ted Nugent’s loyal following must squirm hearing this at anything billed as a patriotic event.

Artist Reaction: Nugent is a Trump loyalist and likely thrilled. That doesn’t make the lyrics less ridiculous at public events involving children and American flags.

When/Where: Played at Trump events in 2015, including a St. Jude’s fundraiser.

Lyrics: "This is our life, this is our song / We'll fight the powers that be just don't pick our destiny."

Why It’s Absurd: This is a song about standing up to blowhards, not cheering for them. Trump using this is like Darth Vader blasting the Rebel Alliance theme.

Artist Reaction: Dee Snider: "He’s the exact kind of ‘oppressive authority’ we wrote that song about."

When/Where: Featured in a White House deportation video in 2025.

Lyrics: "Closing time / Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Why It’s Absurd: A song about existential transitions and bar closings was twisted into a deportation victory lap. It's the musical equivalent of using a breakup text to celebrate a layoff.

Artist Reaction: Dan Wilson: "The irony is blinding. The song’s not about deporting anyone—it’s about personal transitions. Using it this way is cynical and disgusting."

When/Where: Trump Tower candidacy announcement, 2015; later at Tulsa rally.

Lyrics: "We got a thousand points of light for the homeless man / We got a kinder, gentler machine gun hand."

Why It’s Absurd: This is a protest against performative politics and the exact American hypocrisy Trump embodies.

Artist Reaction: Neil Young sued Trump and said: "Trump doesn’t understand the song—he is the problem."

When/Where: Played at Trump’s Des Moines rally, October 2020.

Lyrics: "Well, if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand..."

Why It’s Absurd: A moody song about betrayal and passive-aggressive rage. It’s perfect… if you’re walking into a revenge duel, not rallying suburban retirees.

Artist Reaction: Collins’ legal team fired off a cease-and-desist. "He didn’t ask. We wouldn’t have said yes."

When/Where: Frequently included in Trump’s rally playlists since 2016.

Lyrics: "I was born in the U.S.A. / Sent me off to a foreign land to go and kill the yellow man."

Why It’s Absurd: Springsteen’s anthem is not patriotic—it’s a furious lament for mistreated Vietnam vets. Slapping it on a Trump rally is like playing “Cats in the Cradle” on Father’s Day in a deadbeat dad convention.

Artist Reaction: Springsteen: "The song is a protest. Not a celebration."

When/Where: Multiple Trump rallies, including Mount Rushmore 2020.

Lyrics: "Macho macho man / I’ve got to be a macho man..."

Why It’s Absurd: It’s a flamboyant parody of masculine stereotypes and a gay anthem. Trump tried to embrace it unironically. That alone deserves a Grammy for Most Oblivious Use of a Song in a Political Context.

Artist Reaction: Victor Willis: "We asked him to stop. He didn’t. It’s sad and desperate."

When/Where: June 14, 2025 military parade in D.C.

Lyrics: "It ain’t me, it ain’t me / I ain’t no senator’s son."

Why It’s Absurd: This is the crown jewel of political misfire. It’s about rich cowards dodging the draft while poor kids die in war. Trump, who famously used bone spurs to avoid service, playing this at a military parade is beyond parody.

Artist Reaction: John Fogerty: "Trump is the ‘fortunate son’ the song warns you about."

These aren’t just music rights violations: they’re semiotic trainwrecks. Trump rallies are now the only place where a billionaire can blast anti-elitist protest songs and have the crowd cheer like it’s WrestleMania.

Trump’s team isn’t misinterpreting the lyrics. They’re bulldozing right through them. The message isn’t unity … it’s branding. And nothing says “I get working-class struggle” like blasting songs that call you out by name.

And this isn’t just a Trump problem … it’s a long-standing culture war the right keeps trying to win by stealing the other team’s jersey. From "Star Wars" to "Hamilton," "Les Misérables" to Marvel comics, even paintings and punk rock, the vast majority of pop culture has always rejected authoritarianism, bigotry, and reactionary politics. Tomorrow, I’ll dig into why conservative ideology keeps failing to generate its own lasting art and why every time it tries to co-opt culture, it ends up either ridiculed, disowned, or meme’d into oblivion.

God bless the U.S.A., just not the Spotify queue.