🃏 Samson – The Hermit (Reversed)

Card Meaning: Isolation, grumpiness, ancient wisdom, and weaponized sulking.

Why: Samson is literally the cat version of this archetype—old, wise, constantly judging, and deeply offended by your existence. The reversal emphasizes his talent for weaponized pettiness over enlightenment.

🃏 Arizona – The Moon

Card Meaning: Illusion, mystery, shadows, things that go bump in the night (but gracefully).

Why: He’s a fluid-based entity that may or may not exist in the physical plane. Perfectly silent, only appears under ideal laptop-warmth conditions. This card was written for his brand of feline obscurity.

🃏 Emperor – The Tower

Card Meaning: Sudden upheaval, collapse, unintended consequences of momentum.

Why: Wherever Emp goes, things fall—chairs, glasses, hopes. He is the Tower. Also, naming him “Emperor” is the kind of irony the tarot deck lives for.

🃏 Dice – The Fool

Card Meaning: Boundless enthusiasm, impulsive energy, chaotic good alignment.

Why: This is not an insult. Dice barrels into life head-first, often literally. Loves like a dog, lives like a wrecking ball. This is The Fool in its purest, most joyful form—with bonus drool.

🃏 Tybee – Strength (Reversed)

Card Meaning: Rage issues, unchecked emotions, inner turmoil hiding under the bed.

Why: Tybee’s Hulk-mode panic attacks and emotional baggage make him a walking cautionary tale. Reversed Strength symbolizes chaos barely held together by fur and barking.

🃏 Gynger – The Empress

Card Meaning: Divine femininity, luxury, fertility, and the universal right to be worshipped.

Why: It’s in the name. She rules the chairs, the food bowls, the energy of the room. This card might as well have her photo printed on it already—throne and all.