Well, well, well. If it isn’t Andrew “Gay Beam Machines” Isker back in the news, blessing us once again with the kind of unhinged paranoia that makes Glenn Beck look like a librarian on Ambien.
In the latest episode of his podcast Contra Mundum…which roughly translates to “Against the World,” because “Against Basic Reality” was probably taken…Isker has decided that Israel is behind the recent “Signalgate” scandal. You know, the one where National Security Adviser Mike Waltz accidentally added a journalist to a private Signal chat where he and some Pentagon cosplayers were allegedly planning strikes on Iran. Yes, that one.
According to Isker, this wasn’t just a whoopsie-daisy from Waltz. Nope. It was a Zionist op to kneecap Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, because Hegseth, along with other MAGA military types, allegedly wasn’t sufficiently enthusiastic about lobbing bombs at Tehran. The tool of this Mossad masterstroke? Signal’s TeleMessage plugin, developed by—you guessed it—an Israeli firm. Add a fedora and some red string and Isker’s basically starring in his own budget remake of Three Days of the Condor.
His co-host, Harrison Weinhold, who the Angry White Men blog helpfully reminds us is a “race realist” (read: racist in Dockers), even started studying employee photos from the software company to find “suspicious features.” Yes, really. Not even kidding. He went full phrenology. The only thing missing was a caliper and a tinfoil yarmulke.
For those keeping score, this is the same Andrew Isker who once claimed that airport body scanners turn people gay because of “radiation” or some such nonsense. This man fears backscatter X-rays more than he fears eternal damnation. He’s basically one podcast episode away from blaming Jewish space lasers for his microwave overcooking his Hot Pocket.
But let’s be clear: This isn’t satire. This is a man taken seriously in far-right Christian Nationalist circles, one of many who wrap themselves in the cross and use it like a cudgel to bludgeon fact, logic, and anyone who didn’t read Revelation like a QAnon forum post.
So here we are, another week, another incoherent tirade from a man who thinks he’s fighting demons but is actually just yelling at his router. Keep an eye on this space, because if the past few weeks are any indication, he’s probably drafting a sermon right now blaming the moon landing on George Soros and Beyoncé.